5 Zombie traits you need to learn, right now!

Persistence

With just the smallest pinch of resistance, the average person is willing to give up on any goal.

But, I ask you, what could be a bigger roadblock to action, then death. Being a zombie is about beating the odds.

When a zombie is shot they will lurch to the ground, wiggle a little bit for dramatic purposes, and boom they are up again running towards their goal. Sadly, that goal is to eat us, but who am I to judge?

 Just because you have no experience, no qualifications and no education, you might think, I can’t be President of the United States. But, I ask you, where we would be if George Bush didn’t pull from his inner Zombie and achieve the absurd. Remember, he fought the Zombies over there, so we wouldn’t have to fight them over here.

Non-Judgmental

We go around thinking “I hate those people because he’s brown, she’s a Christian and it’s a Wiccan.”

Yet, the average Zombie has no room in his non beating heart for prejudice.

At the start of any apocalypse, a zombie will come into contact with thousands of people of all different creeds, races and nationalities, but he won’t waste time trying to figure out which people it can identify with, because it is too busy separating the weak and the sick from the running mob.

The undead horde is an inclusive bunch. They don’t care who you are when they induct you to the club, just that your blood is red and your flesh is salty.
 
Patience

Everyone wants something right now! No person is willing to sit back and wait for what they want.
But can you guess who will wait? That’s right, Zombies. If they miss the first convoy of survivors rolling through a devastated town, they will happily wait for the next one, no matter how long it takes.

Positive Body Image

 Zombies live by the phrase “I ams what’s I ams!” or as a zombie would say “Grrrrrr, mooooan grrr”, and no one can convince them otherwise.

Yes, you might call them thin, make fun of their cell decay, and snicker at their wobbly limbs. But, do they care? Nope. In their mind, one grey, green and boney body is as good as the next. And, when it comes to fashion, there is only one trend; bloody, dirty and tattered.
 
Focus

Zombies never take their eyes off the ball, or in their case, the delicious eye balls of a running human.

Modern society has allowed people too many options. People switch from one sexual preference to another and then back again; from one hobby to another and one food to another.

What about the Zombie? As long as he is semi-dead, he thinks about one thing and that one thing is the pleasurable pursuit of hunting down humans and devouring their brains.  Now how many of us can say that.

So remember, when you find yourself running and hiding from a mindless, blood thirsty pack, use the next few seconds before you reload your shotgun to ponder “what can I learn from my friend, the Zombie?”